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Published on July 5, 2012, by in Uncategorized.

 

 

Rustic weddings are not the same as country weddings. At a wedding recently I was reminded of the differences. The couple had chosen the beautiful venue of a beautiful log cabin in the woods. Guests parked their cars along the mile long drive that led down to the cabin and circled back through the woods to the highway. As guests arrived they were handed cones of grass seed to throw into the air as the bride and groom made their way down the aisle after the ceremony.

The ceremony location was situated on the lawn behind the cabin, overlooking the spring-fed river in the background. White chairs on a lush green slope with a rustic vine-covered arbor were the setting for the nuptials to take place. Guests made their way to their seats and as is customary I went in before the ceremony to ask them to silence their cell phones.

As I walked down the aisle and then turned to speak with the guests I heard what I thought was a “moan” from behind me. I didn’t really pay attention at that point. It was only when a boy on the second row began to point that I turned around.
There, coming up the lawn toward me, was a leathery alligator of about eight feet creeping toward our ceremony site. Guests scrambled up the lawn back to the cabin like cats in a dog fight. I went to speak with the groom and the decision was made to call the game warden. There in front of all the guests the game warden was forced to “put down” the gator in the thought that it had lost its fear of humans.
Gator gone, Brett and Margaret walked down the aisle and became husband and wife. I often wondered if Margaret got a handbag from the deal or Brett a new wallet.

Whatever, it all happened down the aisle.

 
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Published on July 5, 2012, by in Uncategorized.

 

I love beach weddings…anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Big waves, tourists the wander through, seagulls doing their thing all over your suit or dress. beach weddings are strictly for those who are not faint of heart.
Recently in was getting ready to perform such a beach wedding. I arrived at the state park and was waved through the gate by the ranger, who told me to head to beach number twelve.
Arriving at beach twelve I found the parking lot across the street from the boardwalk that led to the beach and so I pulled into a parking space adjacent to jacked up SUV. As Time got closer to the start of the ceremony I read over my ceremony script make sure every detail wa

s ready to go. Just then three surfers emerged from the surf, came over to the SUV and proceeded to strip out of their board shorts in front of all creation and change into kakhais and linen shirts. They introduced themselves to me later as the groom and this groomsmen.
Time for the ceremony came and still there was no sign on the bride and her parents. Guests we gathered under the shade of a picnic shelter. After a few calls the park ranger went to look for them.
Fifteen minutes passed and the ranger’s truck pulled up to the parking lot with the bride and her parents inside. Once out of the car they told the harrowing tale of driving through the park to the beach, only to be hit in the windshield by a large pelican. The father of the bride is a little cut up, her mom had glass chips on her clothes, and the bride had bird blood and feathers in her air.
No permanent injuries, one wrecked car, and a great story to tell.
And it all happened down the aisle.

 
formats
Published on July 5, 2012, by in Uncategorized.

I love weddings that take place just as the sun is setting.  The feel of the air, the orange and purple glow of the sky, and silhouettes of the trees is almost magical.  This past weekend I was to be part of a ceremony that when scheduled was to coincide with the setting of the sun at a popular golf resort.   I arrived at the venue with plenty of time to get my microphone on, check with the bride and groom, and say a ‘Hello’ to the venue coordinator.

When speaking with the coordinator she told me that the ceremony would be delayed for a little while.  There was a local high school just down the street and the students were having a dance that night of which many of the students were out running around the golf course.  As time passed we realized that the teenagers were not leaving the course in a timely manner and that it was going to be pushing the wedding later and later.

Beth, the coordinator, said that she would get the course cleared of the teens so that we could get started.  She told me to follow her to the golf shop located next to the patio where the ceremony was to be held.  She opened the door, walked across the floor of the shop and proceeded to turn on the sprinkler system for the holes and greens behind the ceremony site.  Teens screamed and ran from the course to their cars; some didn’t run fast enough and they got drenched.

The wedding began.  The wrought iron arch was aglow with tiny candles hanging down around my head as the bridal party entered.  The ceremony was almost flawless.  As the bride and groom began to exchange vows it became apparent that bugs were attracted to the candles hanging around us.  Mark, the groom, blew at a few gnats to keep them out of his face before he recited his vows;  but just as I turned and asked Jennifer to “look into the eyes of the one she loved and repeat her vows to him” a June Bug flew in front of the bride and as she swatted it away and missed;  it flew and hit my front teeth and fell down my throat.  Coughing and gasping I tried to keep my composure, but as I read the vows for Jennifer to repeat it sounded like a cartoon voice coming from my mouth.  The bug was down my throat trying to climb out.    With my face turned away from the guests I swallowed hard, the bug slid down my throat, and I enjoyed an appetizer of June Bug.

And it all happened Down the Aisle!