Down The Aisle…Stories and Tips From The Wedding Front Lines

It ‘s fun to be the first.  First across the finish line, first to get premium tickets to the concert, and first to find that overlooked jewel of a wedding venue.  Recently I had the chance to perform the first ceremony in one of the most overlooked venues in Central Florida.  Whether you are traveling Interstate 4, east from the Orlando airport on Highway 417, or from Kissimmee on the Osceola Parkway you can see Characters in Flight from miles and miles away. 

Located at Downtown Disney, Characters in Flight  is the 72 foot yellow and red helium balloon adorned with the images of your favorite characters like Mary Poppins, Peter Pan, and Dumbo.  Soaring to a lofty height of almost 400 feet above the Central Florida landscape the world’s largest tethered gas balloon gives the perfect platform for a wedding with an almost magical background.  In the panoramic view from the top you can see sights of all four Disney theme parks, Sea World, and Universal. 

David and Ashlee were the first couple to tie the knot high above the ground in August.  Unlike hot air balloons the Characters in Flight balloon is an enclosed helium balloon and tethered to the ground via a 400ft steel cable.  Another departure from a traditional balloon ride is that Characters in Flight can comfortably accommodate the bride and groom, along with about 20 of their guests, minister, photographer, and pilot. 

To reserve your ceremony, please call Sensational Ceremonies at 407-361-7781

Some of the time the greatest moments of inspiration come from what we regard as disasters.
A couple of weeks ago I was scheduled to do a very “interesting” wedding with dogs. No, the dogs were not getting married, but the couple that was getting married asked if I would officiate a wedding where all of us (including me) would have our dogs there. Being a big fan of dogs I thought this was a fun idea. I have been in a wedding before where a dog brought the rings down the aisle, but never where the wedding party and guests were invited to bring their dogs along as well.
That Tuesday morning started off like most weekdays do for me. I took my little run around the local lake and then came back to take my dog, a Weimaraner , for her daily constitutional in the neighborhood. Upon returning home from our walk, I proceeded to go to my daughters’ room to wake my youngest and get her ready for school. As I bent down to shake her from her slumber the dog jumped from underneath my position toward the bed. The pinch collar that she wears on her walks, caught the bottom of my top lip and tore the inside, then up onto my face where the bottom of my nose was sliced into what resembled fish bones.
As blood rushed from my mouth and nose, like something out of a Monty Python movie, I quickly made my way to the bathroom to get things “under control.” After much pressure and ice I was able to get the bleeding down to just a trickle and so I drove the kids to school. In route to the school I called the couple with whom I was to do their wedding at 9am and explained about the accident. I notified them that I had a bloody nose, black eyes, and that I would be more than happy to get an associate to come and do the wedding. They wouldn’t hear of it. They wanted me.
Off to the local park (without my dog in tow) to perform what was to be a most interesting ceremony. There I stood, with bride, groom, and dogs all about, and me with bloody tissue packed inside my nose. Though my head throbbed and my nose continued to bleed I pronounced the couple husband and wife. It was only afterwards, when I took myself to a minor emergency clinic that I was told that in addition to the sliced lip and nose, my nose was also broken.
And it all happened as I got ready to go down the aisles.

A recent wedding at a local golf resort was the latest wedding to provide me with some gut wrenching laughter.  The wedding ceremony was to take place in a beautiful breezeway between the pro-shop and the bar/reception area.  All across the back of the resort was a beautiful intricate verde green wrought iron rail that separated the back porch of the resort from the golf course below.  Attached to this railing were bamboo tiki torches; spaced about every four or five feet across the back. 

In Central Florida there are a few laws of nature that hold true almost all the time; one of which is that there is always a breeze mid afternoon and early evening.  Flames that are fed by a liquid fuel source do no blow out from these afternoon breezes, but flames actually “bend” as the air blows across them. 

When the bridesmaids started making their way down the aisle, the wind whipped up, and two of the bamboo tiki torches actually caught on fire.  The bartender in the club house saw the tikis on fire and ran out to douse them with a pitcher of water.  Well, water and oil do not mix and a fire fueled with oil with only spread with the addition of water. 

I motioned to the bartender as he came close and whispered “use a fire extinguisher.  It will spread with water.”  As the bartender ran back in the club house two of the tiki torches finally succumb to the flames and the canisters fell out of the charred remains of the bamboo tikis.  By this time two more tiki torches were fully engulfed in flames.

Finally the bartender  arrived back to put out the flames with the fire extinguisher and as he did, a huge cloud of  billowing white extinguisher smoke floated through and enveloped the last bridesmaid and the guests.

All this before the bride walked down the aisles and she never saw a thing.

Recently I was performing a wedding in a rural community here in Florida. When I arrived to the venue the guests were beginning to be seated and I went inside to speak with the groom and bride. As I often do, I carried my ministerial robe over my arm and only put it on when I was in the cool air conditioned climate of the venue. As I zipped the long robe up, a boy of about 4 or 5 years came up to me and motioned for me to bend down and speak with him. I did so and with the innocence that only a child of this age could possess he asked me, almost as if it were a top secret question, “Are you a Jedi?”
Thinking as fast as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs I whispered back to him, “Yes.” After my answer I got in line and filed out into the venue to perform a beautiful ceremony.
When the ceremony was over and the guests invited to enjoy some cool refreshments, I made my way to the back of the room. Again, my little friend was waiting on me with another question that would make me laugh out loud. Again, the little boy motioned for me to bend down and then he cupped his hands around my ear and asked “Do you have your light saber?”
And it all happened, down the aisles.

I love those television shows that show funny clips from weddings. Millions of people watch those outtakes as members of the wedding party succumb to nerves and pass out at their wedding. Over the years I have been asked literally hundreds of times how many times have I actually seen this occur. The truth of the matter is that in less than 1% of all weddings does a member of the wedding party pass out. When this does happen there are usually a number of things that I have noticed all these occurances have in common.
First, it is more often than not the groom that passes out. Even though brides are known for the pressure they feel, grooms pass out 20 times more often as brides.
Secondly, there usually has been a large amount of alcohol consumed in the 24hours before the ceremony.
Third, grooms usually will skip the meal before their ceremony; thinking they will eat a lot at the reception. This creates low blood sugar and makes them light-headed
Lastly, the time of day has a lot to say about the frequency that people pass out. More individuals pass out at afternoon weddings (8 to 1) than do at weddings that occur after 5pm.

About one of every three couples that I meet with ask me if I would suggest that they have a wedding coordinator for their wedding.  To answer the question as simply as possible, “Yes.”  Wedding Coordinators, whether they are hired to plan the wedding with you or whether you just have them there for the day of the event, are well worth the money that you will spend on their services. 

Wedding Coordinators can help you avoid the pitfalls of not knowing vendors in your area, they can negotiate the best prices, they can give you choices you never thought possible, and they can help you make your vision for your wedding a reality.  I have officiated at too many weddings that had no one to line up the wedding party, pin on the boutiners, or make sure everything ran smoothly.  Wedding Coordinators make the hectic nature of weddings flow absolutely seamless.

This past Spring I had the privilege to perform a wedding at one of our beautiful botanical gardens located here in Central Florida.  The wedding was the second time down the aisles for both the bride and the groom and each had children in attendance; the groom with his three girls and the bride with her two sons.    

As the wedding guests and the men of the wedding party assembled around a remote gazebo, the bride and her bridesmaids gathered at the start of the walkway.  The first bridesmaid made her way down the sidewalk and gracefully took her place in front of the gazebo, as did the maid of honor.  When the bride, who was escorted by her oldest son, started making the very long walk toward the gazebo a large red squirrel was playing overhead.  About four steps down the sidewalk, the squirrel fell from his lofty perch in the Live Oak tree and fell to land with a “thud” on the hard concrete below.  Motionless , the body of the squirrel lay in the middle of the walkway. 

As I looked down the aisle I realized that for the bride to get to the site of her wedding ceremony she was either going to step over the lifeless squirrel or someone would have to move it into the foliage.  Acting as quickly as possible I asked the remaining son of the bride (who was standing as a groomsmen,) to go and “kick that squirrel into the bushes.”  Before the young man could take more than just a couple of steps toward the seemingly lifeless squirrel, it sprang to life and shot down the sidewalk; straight for the first bridesmaid.  She screamed in panic, climbed upon the railing of the gazebo, and proceeded to wave her bouquet like a sword at the squirrel. 

When all the commotion had passed, the bride made her way down the sidewalk to one of the most beautiful intimate ceremonies. 

And it all happened down the aisles.

A ship captain does not have any authority to perform a wedding unless the captain is also a member of the clergy or a justice of the peace.  If the wedding ceremony is performed outside U.S. territorial waters, it must be done in accordance with the local, state, or district laws where the parties live and in the presence of a U.S. diplomatic or consular official who agrees to issue the certificate and and file any required reports.  Otherwise, the ceremony must be repeated ashore and the local requirements fulfilled. 

Source:  “Contrary to Popular Belief” by Joey Green 2005

Rev. Glynn Ferguson

Hi, I’m Rev. Glynn Ferguson and over the almost 20 years that I’ve been officiating weddings I’ve witnessed countless trends in the wedding industry, answered seemingly millions of questions about wedding etiquette, and watched and laughed along at some of the most funny wedding stories that you won’t believe are true. 

I decided to start this blog to provide tips and a little humor to the wonderful world of weddings.  From time to time I’ll invite others in the wedding industry to share their professional insight on a particular subject or two. 

I believe in giving people the very best!  If this blog in any way sharpens you as a professional, a couple or just makes your laugh out loud, then I’ve accomplished my task.

Remember, it all starts “Down the Aisles.”