formats
Published on May 16, 2013, by in Uncategorized.

 

Recently I was sitting across the table from a couple and when I asked them what time the ceremony was scheduled to begin they said “ 5 o’clock or so.  You know weddings never start on time.”  It got me to start thinking and after about a two dozen phone calls to wedding planners, DJs, Photographers, and other officiants I found a couple of reoccurring trends.

From the conversations I had, I asked wedding professionals a couple of questions:  What percentage of the time do your weddings start within the first ten minutes of their scheduled start time?  and “Are there any trends that you see that affect a wedding starting on time?”

Most of the wedding professionals that I spoke with had horror stories as to why some weddings start terribly late, but most had to admit that most of the weddings they work at start close to on time.  Of the professionals that I spoke to I was told that more than 90% of the time the weddings start on time.  Other than cultural trends of being late, couples were more likely to start late if they (in order of frequency)

1.  Do not hire a planner

2.  If they do not stay near the ceremony location.

3.  They have a close family member that has the tendency to be late to everything.

4.  They have a vendor that makes them run late: (only three mentioned:  hair/makeup, photographer, unreliable transportation—the limo broke down)

Remember starting late for your ceremony cuts into your cocktail hour and reception.  This affects your DJ, food, bar, venue rental, photographer, etc.  Many wedding vendors are scheduled for a certain period of time and if you are late then they will be forced to charge you a late fee or they may not be able to stay at all. Read reviews, tell your vendors that you want to start on time, and invite guests that you expect to be late to come 30 minutes before the ceremony.

It is your wedding day, filled with lots of great memories.  You don’t need the stress of running late or feeling like the white rabbit ”I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date.”

 

 

 
formats
Published on April 6, 2013, by in Uncategorized.

 

Frequently I get hired by a hotel or venue to come in and officiate an intimate wedding.  In most cases I do not have the opportunity to meet the couple until the day of the wedding.  As with all our couples I call and email them, I send them a ceremony planning kit, and try to write a ceremony that will be beautiful and fit the two of them.

On this occasion the couple selected a very religious ceremony, with eloquent and poetic vows that they were to repeat to each other, and a beautiful piece where they acknowledged the love of their parents.

As I entered the rooftop location of the ceremony, the groom immediately was led to meet me.  I reached out my hand to shake his and told him how good it was to finally meet him.  His hand went out to meet mine and as I looked up at his eyes I realized that he did not understand one word that I had just said. (Now you have to understand that I am a blond haired, green-eyed, Cajun, and I can’t even order at Taco Bell if it requires Spanish.)
I quickly pulled my tablet from my bag and pulled up the couple’s ceremony and asked him (via an interpreter) to practice repeating  his vows to to me.
Word by word coming forth from his mouth like pulling the teeth of a professional sumo wrestler.  After just a moment I realized that he was not capable of repeating the lengthy vows they had chosen ( or should I say; she had chosen.)
I asked the hotel staff where was the bride getting ready and they led me to her room.  I showed her the ceremony selections she sent me and expressed my concern for the groom not understanding the vows or even able to repeat the vows. As fast as possible I rewrote those beautiful vows and changed them from repeats to a simple I Do.
The ceremony went off without a hitch.  The groom said “I Do” with the prompting nod of my head, but when I got to the part of thanking their parents I saw the same glazed over eyes and knew that they too had no clue to what I was saying  and it all happened down the aisle.

Just one more note: if your loved ones do not speak the language, ask for a bilingual officiant.  You wedding day is stressful enough without having to overcome a language barrier

 
formats

 

Over the years I heard horror stories of how badly those invited to be a part of the wedding party can completely destroy a wedding day.  Recently I was at a wedding at a prestigious country club.  With all the posh and fanfare of a high class establishment you would think that it would escape the entanglements that seem to flow freely through lower, less polished establishments and clientele.  Not so!

I entered the venue through doors opened by gentlemen in sport coats and greeted by the major domo of the resort.  He quickly recognized my role in the wedding and pointed me in the direction of where the bridal party was getting ready.  First a stop at the spacious lounge for the groom and his party revealed empty whisky bottles and glasses strong about the room.  Once I assessed that the groom was cognoscente of the decision he was about to make, I went looking for the bride and her party.

After knocking at the door for what seemed an eternity I was led down a hallway and before I even reached the door I could hear yelling and arguing over the ambient music of the resort.  The maid of honor had arrived an hour late, just 20 minutes before the wedding.  She was not dressed for the wedding, but in gym shorts and a tank top and her hair looked like she had just gotten out of the pool.  The dress that she was supposed to wear for the ceremony had not been tried on since it was left with the seamstress and of course it was too long and too tight.  She got so aggravated with those around her that she then threw her professionally dyed shoe at another bridesmaid and broke off the heel of her left shoe.  Broken heel, dress too long and tight, hair all a mess…she decides to just sit in the middle of the floor and pitch a temper tantrum, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Whose wedding is this anyway?  It is not her moment to shine, but to carefully, tenderly point all the attention to the bride.  An hour passes while a spoiled brat of a woman carries on and delays the wedding of her “best friend.”  Two hundred guests sat in white wooden chairs for almost an hour in the Florida sun waiting for the wedding to begin.  What did the bride do?  She did the most noble of things I have ever seen.  She gathered the other ladies together, lined them up to process down the aisle, and then called security to have her maid of honor removed from the venue…in her un-hemmed, too tight dress, with her hair in a towel, wearing only one shoe.

And it all happened down the aisle.

 

 
formats
Published on August 8, 2012, by in Uncategorized.

Oh please hire a real photographer;   your friend just won’t do.  If I’ve heard this once I’ve heard it a thousand times.  Why would you trust the photos of your most cherished moments to an amateur?   I had to field a call from a great personal friend of mine, who let a friend of her daughters’ photograph the wedding.  She gave her a fee that most would associate with a Craigslist professional and wondered eight months later when she would see some wedding pictures.

Too many times when a couple uses a friend it is due to a tight budget.  This is one area where you should splurge.  Unless the friend you are asking has been taking WEDDING photos for years, has great reviews, is licensed and insured, and has provided you plenty of sample work to view—STEER CLEAR!

Either your photographer is a friend and guest or they are a vendor.  The line between the two is hard to understand.  If they are a friend and totally wreck yo ur photos, forget to do shots of the groom’s side of the family or your first dance, then you’ve probably lost a friend if you say anything.  A professional is more apt to make sure you get the shots you desire.

At a recent wedding the couple had asked a friend to take their photos.  As soon as the ceremony was over the friend headed to the bar and from that point on every shot was either out of focus or tilted slightly to the right.

So, beware when you ask a friend to shoot your wedding or you may want to shoot them, if things don’t go the way you envision.

 
formats
Published on July 21, 2012, by in Uncategorized.

I have had a number of friends questions the stories that I write, thinking them to be fiction.  Let me assure you…life is stranger than any fiction that I could write.  Most of the time I tame the story so it doesn’t appear too over the top, but this one is so out there it is hard for even me to believe.

Early summertime can be very busy and I was rushing from one wedding to another.  The first was a simple wedding at a community center and the second at one of the most exclusive resorts to which I’ve ever been.  The first wedding ran a little late and even though I thought I had given myself enough cushion I still was uncomfortable with the time between the two events.

As I pulled into the beautiful resort and parked my car, I rushed in through the lobby to be greeted by the wedding coordinator.  “Take your time,” she said.  The bride had not yet arrived on property.  “What?  The wedding is scheduled to begin in 30 minutes and the bride is not here,” I asked.   No, she is on her way, I was told.  Thirty minutes past and the start time of the ceremony as well and still no bride.  The groom and his thirteen groomsmen were in the bar watching a ball game and throwing back more than a few hard drinks.

An hour passed and still no bride.  I called her cell number and she was just leaving a nail salon and told me she was headed to the resort.  I told her that her guests had been there for more than an hour and they were getting restless, to which she replied “They can wait on me.  It is MY day.”

Twenty minutes passed and still no bride.  Since the salon is only about ten minutes from the venue and she was still not there I called the salon and they told me she had already left and that she was headed to the jewelry store.

Another ten minutes passed and I was able to reach her via her cell phone and she told me she was pulling into the resort.  The wedding planner rushed to the front door of the resort to assist the bride and saw that the bride had neither showered nor dressed for her wedding.  As the bride walked through the resort she started to disrobe piece by piece and throw her clothing to the floor for the coordinator to pick up.  Meanwhile, the groom, his groomsmen, and their respective fathers have been in the bar for two hours drinking.

When the coordinator finally sees that the bride is ready she tries to gather the bridal party like a mother hen gathers her chicks.  Checking to make sure each one is there.  Now, we know there are supposed to be thirteen bridesmaids and thirteen groomsmen, but we can only find twelve of each.  Cell phones are called, hotel rooms are search, still not sign of the missing party.

The remaining bridal party lines up in the hallway while the groom and I take our position in front of the guests that remained (almost half tired of the wait and left.)  As the groom stood to my left he leaned to the right and then to the left.  The time at the bar had been enough that I felt I had to do a field sobriety test to see if the groom was mentally capable to make the commitment to marry.

The music started and the bridal party proceeded down the aisle in full style.  All were dressed to be seen and sauntered in with that special groove that you can only imagine.  Finally, after twelve pairs of groomsmen and bridesmaids proceed in the doors were closed to create a grand entrance for the bride.  With a “thumbs up” from the coordinator I asked the guests to rise and the doors opened for the bride and her father to walk down the aisle.  As the pair came down the aisle toward me I wondered if her father was feeble or suffered from something like Parkinson’s, because he shook so violently when he walked; even appearing to be help up by the bride as he escorted her down the aisle.  After they stopped in front of me, I asked her father “Who brings this woman to be married to this man?”  He looked at me as if he didn’t understand what I said, then slowly replied “Heeeer Mama and me.”  He had been in the bar with the guys and was completely toasted.  So much so, to the fact of another guest helped him to his seat.

There are so many more things about this wedding that I could mention like a guest dancing down the aisle, or, their risqué dance at the reception, but I won’t in good manners.  I will tell you that the missing groomsman and bridesmaid were found.  They were across the hall in the locked ladies restroom—you’ll have to use your imagination.

And it all happened down the aisle.

 
formats
Published on July 19, 2012, by in Uncategorized.

A ship captain does not have any authority to perform a wedding unless the captain is also a member of the clergy or a justice of the peace.  If the wedding ceremony is performed outside U.S. territorial waters, it must be done in accordance with the local, state, or district laws where the parties live and in the presence of a U.S. diplomatic or consular official who agrees to issue the certificate and file any required reports.  Otherwise, the ceremony must be repeated ashore and the local requirements fulfilled.

Source:  “Contrary to Popular Belief” by Joey Green 2005